While caring for my Mom in her final months, I needed an additional creative outlet. Sewing worked for awhile during this challenging time, but I needed something even more hands on.
I am a creative person and I have a good eye (feels uncomfortable and boastful to say or type that out loud). But, my drawing skills have never met my imaginary expectations nor did my skills ever allow me to draw something that "looks like it does in my head". These "skills" still don't match my disturbing and unattainable level of some ridiculous need for perfection, so I decided to teach myself to draw last fall. My first drawing in my reclaimed sketchbook was November 13, 2018. I did my level best to remove the need for perfection and just started visiting YouTube to get some help. There are many folks out there that make great videos of sketches and drawing. Most are sped up, but I just hit the pause button when I needed to concentrate on my own drawing.
It's been over a year now since I drew that first image, and I've become more comfortable with my limited skills. I've done patterns, zentangles, mandalas, and even managed to draw "my feelings" a few times. The sketchbook became my journal in many ways. I did get brave enough to finally share some of the sketches on my Instagram feed, but I'm not ready to share the more sad drawings. My bravery came after a very special conversation with a friend that I met in middle school all those many years ago. We follow each other on The Gram and one evening in late August of this year I discovered that she had been going through her own sadness. I lost Mom on March 29, 2019 and she shared that she lost a mutual friend that we both knew for most of our lives. Unfortunately, I was so consumed by Mom's care, I didn't know our friend had passed. As a pick-me-up, I posted a sketch of some flowers that I drew. She loved them so much, I drew her very own and mailed them to her with some of my greeting cards from my old stock (and one of the past lives I've lived). Just a random act of kindness that the world needs more of. I tried to do my part. Both are pictured here: